I have vivid memories of my experiences with some very mean girls when I was growing up in school. I’m not sure I ever got over it, really and I believe it shaped who I am today (good and bad). Now, I have two daughters in elementary school and they are the ones faced with the challenge of dealing with difficult girls. I dread it constantly and my fear heightens with every story they bring to me off the bus. How do we raise strong girls who don’t trample on others to do that? How do we make them conscious of other’s feelings who will speak up without appearing like someone going against the herd? How do we instill enough confidence to shake off negative comments from others? I have no idea but the question could keep me up at night.

            This all really started when I took my girls to a school function the other night and my second grader became overly concerned about another girl in her grade that had entered the gym. All of a sudden, my daughter’s joy at what we were doing disappeared and she focused on how to get this other little girl’s attention. When I saw the girl, I knew who she was right away. I didn’t know her name or her family but I knew everything about her. I saw it in the way she dressed, the purse she had slung over her shoulder, the phone in her hand, and the gaggle of other little girls circled around her. She was the girl in the lunchroom who could ruin my day if she didn’t say hi to me. She was the same girl who could ruin your whole year if she decided she didn’t like you. My heart dropped with disappointment at my daughter’s reaction to getting recognition from this girl.

I really thought I had drilled into their heads to be leaders and not followers, to not be afraid to question others and to always be true to themselves despite the opinion of other kids. But let’s face it; they are still kids, trying to find their identity under the close attention of their peers. There’s only so much we can do as parents. The only thing I can do is plead with other parents. Make sure your child understands the importance of respect and concern for others. Eavesdrop often as it is the best way to see how your child interacts with other children. Tell them not only how important they are but the importance of the kid sitting next to them. I’m thrilled with the progression of the anti-bullying laws these days but it really all starts at home and as I have learned, the social status concern starts at a frightening young age.

            All I can ask is that if you have daughters, teach them the significance of other’s feelings very early since we will always be the shoulder to cry on when they have had a rough day with other kids. When my kids come home and tell me about another girl being mean to someone, they make sure to give me all the sordid details about what was said and why. I listen intently and patiently. Then, when they’re done with their story, I ask them the really important part. ..“What did you do to help the girl that was picked on?” I can’t help but wonder what would happen if all the parents asked that question.

By: Beth Rider Westbrook

Teen Survival Guide

Single mothers have enough to worry about after the holidays but my
friends kept asking me the dreaded question about my new year resolutions. I
managed to make it through split visitations, scraping money together for
presents, putting up with naughty relatives and now I had to make a decision on
what I was going to change next year? Maybe it’s just me that takes offense to
the idea that I am in need of improvement so much I have to verbally announce
my intentions to those around me. I remind myself daily on things I refuse to
repeat because I didn’t like the outcome but now I was going to be held
accountable for it.

With all this added pressure, I decided to start small with the resolution
thing and lead up to bigger ones in a Bridget Jones sort of way. First, I’m going to
invest in new underwear because I can no longer excuse the holes in the ones I
should have buried years ago. It may not be a trip to the beach but I need to
consider decent underwear a luxury I must partake in. Secondly, I am going to
start setting my alarm earlier so I don’t look like rising death in the carpool line at
school. I’m going to at least look like one of those mother types that hit the
treadmill at 5am, cooked my children homemade biscuits before I sent them off
with gluten-free lunches packed with care. Then, I’m also going to quit using
words like “potty” and “tinkle” because what was once cute and relatable now
embarrasses my children something awful.

Those are the little things which always come easy but the more important
resolutions tend to be more difficult to decide upon. So, this year, I am going to
keep pursuing the somewhat impossible job I know I would conquer with my
whole heart. The one job I continue circling back to no matter what I attempt to
do. Although it’s every one’s dream to have the career that fulfills them, I believe
we each have an immeasurable gift that if we pay attention, will guide us to using
it in a way we never thought we could. I am going to work on listening to my
inner voice especially when it’s screaming at me that something isn’t right. When
my inner voice is drowning out waling cats fifty miles off, I will stop what I’m
doing and hear it.

Lastly, this year, as much as I cringe writing this, I will believe in love again. I

will open my heart to those who deserve it because my divorce no longer defines
who I am. I am a loving, single mother who also happens to be a woman that will
appreciate the significance of a partner. Also, I finally realize in the future it
wouldn’t be fair to rely on my children for constant companionship.

I’m not a fan of resolutions but thanks to outside pressure, I was forced to
think about what I would change to improve my life. I’m not moving to Tahiti and
shaking off social responsibilities. I’m not investing money I don’t have for a more
secure future, whatever that means these days. And I’m certainly not dropping
any vices because my fortieth birthday is too close to even consider torturing
myself further. However, I will try for contentment; compassion and the courage
to keep readjusting my resolution list as my overwhelming list of flaws appear to
me. In 2012, I will strive towards patience overall. Not just patience for those
around me but for myself when I fail. I wish that for everyone reading this as well
because perfection among the masses would make for a boring year anyway.

Have a great new year, resolutions aside…

By: Beth Rider Westbrooks

I am divorced. I am a single mom. I love my daughters when they are
acting like they want something and even when they’re acting like they’ve been
given too much. I am also tired. Sometimes, I forget to pay field trip money on
time or who wants what kind of snack in their backpack. Occasionally, I allow
our fridge to run out of frozen waffles and my seven year old has to eat dry
cereal because of her strong aversion to milk. I’m not always first in the carpool
line and I say “no” an awful lot. I have been known to forget to wash
the “favorite” socks or send money for the book fair at school. I have driven to
school in my pajamas and overslept a time or two when I was sick or my alarm
just didn’t seem to be loud enough. I have yelled when I didn’t mean it or locked
myself in the bathroom for two minutes of quiet time.

I’m a divorced, single mom who makes mistakes. But I don’t start
arguments with my children’s father. I don’t use the children as leverage on any
occasion. I never talk badly about their father knowing it will wound them
personally. I don’t look for reasons to cause trouble and turmoil with my ex-
husband and his new wife. I work hard to foster good relationships for my
children’s sake knowing I am their number one influence on their take on the
world. I refuse to not treat my children to the movies because their father is
months behind on child support. I won’t ever let them know how often he
doesn’t pay even when I am flat broke.

I’m a single mom who may not always do things perfectly in the eyes of
her children but I spend every ounce of energy trying to do it right.

By: Beth Rider Westbrook

Valerie Daniel, the founder of Faith’s House, has a vision to help the women who need it most but are the least likely to ask for it. Faith’s House ultimate goal is to have a place for single mother families with limited life choices to live while they pursue their educational dreams. Debra, a single mother said “the practical information and support I have received at Faith’s House has been invaluable.” Another mom, Justina, who received help through resources at Christmas said “I hope one day when I get on my feet that I can give back and help other moms that were in situations like me.”

Friendship Christian School - meeting place for Faith's House Lunch n Learns

Whether you’re a mother who is single, or single again, Faith’s House welcomes you to their meetings the third Saturday of every month at 11am held atFriendshipChristianSchooloffOld Atlanta Road. At these meetings, you will learn from guest speakers, find information about job opportunities, help with resumes, and share how to best utilize the community’s resources. Childcare and pizza are provided as well. Most importantly, you will find women like yourself who understand you better than anyone.

            If you are interested in learning more about how Faith’s House can help you, or if you are looking for a way to give back to the community and volunteer with a great group of people, visit www.faithshouseinc.org.

Click Here To Watch Our Short Video

Faith’s House thanks the wonderful people at LUNA BAR for their support of women’s issues and their sponsoring this awesome and inspiring event.

Take a peek at this video from the day of the event.  Make sure to watch the additional video at the end with recording artist, Neil Cribbs!

Our June meeting will take place on June 18, 2011 from 11am – 1pm.  We meet at Friendship Christian School at 3160 Old Atlanta Road, Suwanee, GA 30024 in Forsyth County.   FREE childcare and pizza provided.

The purpose of our monthly meetings is to create a space where single moms can network with their peers, get support on taking the next step with their education, and get connected to community resources. Our overall mission is to empower single moms and help them create a support system. We soon plan to have representatives from local colleges, and other area non-profits and government agencies at the meetings to be an additional resource to the women.

The participants are asked to share what their current struggle is and then we discuss possible next steps and try to link the single mom to a community resource. We have caring volunteers (usually former single moms) who volunteer their time to be a listening ear and help encourage the single moms wtih this ever so important, but sometimes challenging time of their life.

Our mission is to empower single moms and help them create a support system. We plan to have representative from local colleges, other area non-profits, and government agencies at future meetings as an additional resource to the women.

We will offer a light lunch provided by Cici’s Pizza Buffet, (2920 Ronald Reagan Blvd.), and childcare is provided by FLOOD, Girls Scouts of Greater Atlanta, or other local youth groups.

We will ask you to fill out a short informational card so we can keep you connected to events and links in our community.

For further information: 

valerie@faithshouseinc.org
www.FaithsHouseInc.org

Follow us on Facebook! 

This months meeting will take place Saturday, April 16th from 11am-1pm.  Free lunch will be provided as well as free child care.

What are our monthly meetings like?

Our goal is to create a space where single moms can network with their peers, get support on taking the next step with their education, and get connected to community resources. Our overall mission is to empower single moms and help them create a support system. We soon plan to have representatives from local colleges, and other area non-profits and government agencies at the meetings to be an additional resource to the women.

We meet at Friendship Christian Church (educational building in the back).

3160 Old Atlanta Road
Suwanee, GA 30024

For more information: valerie@faithshouseinc.org

This time last year, my best friend’s sister was diagnosed with breast cancer.  We were lost about what to do and how to help her. As faith would have it, Lunafest came along shortly after and participating in that amazing event somehow made us feel like we were making a difference. Not only were the movies inspiring but we felt like we had taken a small step in taking notice of a disease that affects us all. One year later, my friend’s sister is on the way to a speedy recovery and I will always be grateful that fundraisers like Lunafest exist and we have the power to make it happen for all those involved.

Beth Rider Westbrooks

“As a single mother, I know the struggles firsthand and I found myself wanting to somehow help these remarkably brave women. When I met Valerie, I knew there was a reason she was placed in my path since I could now do something about my situation and other women like me. I am  grateful to be a part of the board and Valerie’s vision.”

B.A. English /Creative Writing and Broadcasting from University of Alabama

Child Support Advocate

 

Faith’s House board member

* LUNAFEST sponsors the Breast Cancer Fund as a national sponsor.  A percentage of the ticket price at each local showing of the movie goes to the local charity with a smaller percentage from each showing going to BCF.

Denise Lawrence

“Attending Lunafest was a huge eye opener for me last year.

I am always moved by talented women, but seeing the variety of short documentaries was truly inspiring and I had a blast.

I experienced a range of emotions – from crying to laughter to amazement.

I think Faith’s House has brought something unique to our community and I strongly encourage everyone to make some time to attend this year’s Lunafest on March 26 and experience the new films. It’s also an opportunity to support two great causes – Faith’s House and Breast Cancer. And, cheer on agroup of women who bring our stories to life through these timely and moving films.”

~Denise Lawrence

Faith’s House Board Member